who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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