Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
