We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
