Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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