they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
