As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
