I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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