A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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