Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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