The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
