Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
