sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
