when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
