Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
