I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
