I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize