bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
