Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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