She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize