Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
