it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
