my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize