stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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