According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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