I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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