Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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