does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
