Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
