now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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