Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
