my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
