so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
