he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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