Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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