I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
