My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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