just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize