you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
