I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
