i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
