still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
