I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
