Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
North Korea, Best Korea!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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