I want to walk on stilts...naked
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
