HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
