you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
