Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
where are my eyebrows?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
