im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
