Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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