Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
