as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found your dick twin last night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
