She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
