Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
