Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
