What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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