I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sober January is a disaster.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
