he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
