I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
