I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that's an acceptable place to lick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
