either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
