all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
whose parrot is this?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
