there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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