y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
