And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize