dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
