his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
