Is it because I queefed?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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