Who wears a wallet chain?!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
