Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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