Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
