what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
as a side note pls kill me
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
